Pilots v Maintenance engineers, Humour.

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Pilots v Maintenance engineers, Humour.

Post by Al » Sun Sep 24, 2017 1:47 pm

Hi All

Found this and found it worthy of a mention..

After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. :lol:

Complaints submitted by pilots marked with a P / Reply by Engineers marked E

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
E: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
E: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
E: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
E: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
E: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
E: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
E: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
E: That’s what they’re for

P: IFF inoperative.
E: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
E: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
E: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
E: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
E: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics

P: Mouse in cockpit.
E: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
E: Took hammer away from midget.


Al 8-)

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